Hey, thank you for reading today. This post will summarize the aftermath, the lessons that I’m drawing from my 2nd cardiac event that occurred on Wed Sep 20th, 2023.
On Recovery
- This time around the healing has been centered around healing from the trauma of the events, where my heart was shocked back into life repeatedly on Sep 20th, 2023.
- It feels as if the CNS (central nervous system) is still very raw. As an example on Friday we were out at a noisy restaurant – first time since the 2nd incident. Suddenly I felt like a lightning bolt of fear ran from my neck down my spine. It was the reptilian/ CNS part (fight or flight) trying to protect me from further trauma/ injury.
- In the week after the event there were nights that I could not fall asleep at all. It felt as if my body was on high alert, for any signs of ‘wrongness, illness’, a constant scanning of threats. It is now early October, and it feels like the highest stress days/ weeks are behind me, but the events still linger in the background.
On lessons
- The overriding importance of focusing on the present, versus spending so much head-space on thinking about the future, scenarios, wishing etc. Yes there is a time to plan, a time to dream – but most of the time that will just be a waste, something that draws you away from the only thing that really ever exists: the present.
- The importance of the core relationships for me: My wife, my son, my daughter. My family, close friends, my extended family. I want to build on relationships, make existing ones stronger, and nurture new relationships where they feel right.
- All the BS falling away about making more money, and becoming a big success in society. Yes we need the money to support our family, but it should not be at the cost of spending time with family, at the cost of your health.
On things that have helped me
- Writing these blog posts have helped me tell the story – mostly to myself – about how the events happened, to give them perspective, and through that give me distance from the events.
- Thinking about myself as a survivor, rather than a victim of these events. In the beginning I would think ‘why did this happen to me, I’ve lived healthy’ however with time I’ve been able to become more accepting of where I am in the journey of recovery, of life.
- Twice daily meditation – 10-15 minutes, morning and evening with the Calm app. Especially the meditations on Loving Kindness and anxiety relief, as well as having a ‘rain sound’ on when trying to fall asleep. I feel concretely the level of anxiety in my body is lower after a meditation session.
We are all works in progress, learning new things as long as we’re alive, and I wish you dear reader a peaceful, calm day wherever you are on your journey.